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INTEGRABLE SYSTEM*
A close friend of mine has been having a tough year. The story they found themselves involved in has everything: lies, drugs, video games, infidelity, housing crises, questionable friends, and tough break-ups. If I were not familiar with some of the main players from past interactions, I would probably dismiss the whole thing as a bad retelling of some melodramatic TV show about millennials. Instead I have been trying to do my best to help and console. It is difficult to know that someone you care about is unhappy and there is not much you can do to help. At the same time, the way we respond to our friends’ crises often strikes me as something of a metric for our own personality.
I have been thinking about this ever since earlier this summer I had the misfortune of observing a grown woman cry at a friends’ birthday party because of something another friend had said to her. The offending conversation started benevolently, with a discussion of work and difficult bosses and then quickly escalated into an intense advice-giving session and ultimately tears. While this incident followed an afternoon filled with fair amounts of alcohol and sugar I was still struck by the fact that what must have seemed like well-intentioned advice from the point of view of the person it was coming from almost seamlessly transitioned into very personal and harsh criticism from the point of view of the other.
It is often said that giving advice can be dangerous because we can be considered responsible if this advice leads to a bad outcome but I sometimes wonder whether it is the instinct to give advice in itself that is dangerous. It is a naïve instinct that assumes that there is more uniformity to the human experience than is realistic; that treating difficult situations in the same way will give results as reproducible as in a laboratory experiment. Human nature seems to be unaware of such consistency induced constraints. It is also a narcissistic instinct as it assumes that we have sufficient knowledge and authority, and immediately shifts the focus towards us. God intentions seem to be a perfect cover for indulging in self-involved discussions of our own opinions, feelings and past experiences.
The way we treat our friends when they are in a crisis or when it seems like they might need guidance tends to reflect our beliefs about friendship and general inner-workings of the world. Often there is an attribution of blame that stems from the idealistic notion that bad things don’t happen to good people unless they themselves slip up in some way. It gives us comfort to think that a bad thing won’t just happen out of nowhere so we project that onto our friends and deal with any subsequent cognitive dissonance by trying to get them to course-correct. It is also easy to forget that even if some partial responsibility for the bad thing can be assigned, this does not minimize the emotional impact of that thing happening. Sometimes traffic accidents happen because a driver is not paying attention and sometimes the road is just slippery. In either case the pain of a broken arm or leg is completely independent of the scenario. Similarly, we want to believe in quick and intentional self-improvement and linear recovery towards some arbitrary standard of normalcy because we might have to eventually undergo the same process. If our friends cannot change to be closer to our notion of “better” then can we really trust ourselves to do the same?** We get frustrated with friends that struggle often or friends that cannot escape their flaws because we worry that we are equally attached to our own. The way we perceive others’ pain inevitably ties back to our own selves.
As with so many things, I tend to believe that the best we can do is to question our gut instinct and try to critically assess those first few words that fly out of our mouths. Sometimes our friends do not actually want advice and guidance but rather seek some empathy and validation of their pain. Sometimes they just really do not want to change even if it seems like they should be considering it. Or maybe they want to do so slowly, on their own terms. There is merit to encouraging personal growth in people we care about by challenging them or making suggestions, but there is also merit in recalling that they are a friend because we appreciate the person that they are already. This is a cheesy trope that we learn about romantic relationships fairly early – if you truly love someone then you also love their flaws – and friend-love is really not that much different.
As complicated of a topic as empathy can be I am a big believer in trying to empathize first and then evaluate and strategize second. Ultimately, we lose very little by saying “That sucks, what can I do to help?” instead of offering a magic prescription to solve the situation. Or at least we do not lose anything other than an ego-boost.
Best,
Karmela
* In physics, an integrable system is one that is exactly solvable. A somewhat imprecise description of such a system would be to say that all solutions to the equations governing its dynamics can be expressed in terms of some known functions. A well known example from classical physics is the so-called central force problem such as a body moving in an orbit under the influence of gravity – determining this orbit constitutes solving the system.
** In the Western world and capitalist societies we are all perpetually told that it is possible to “pull yourself by the bootstraps” if you just really want to. It is a notion as mythic as thinking that anyone can start in a mailroom and end up CEO. Reality is much more complicated than that.
***
ABOUT THIS WEEK
LEARNING: It has been another fairly busy week and while I am still spending a lot of my time writing problem sets for the class I am helping teach, I have also found myself attending a non-trivial number of seminars in addition to lectures I would usually go to. One dealt with reverse-engineering quantum mechanics from observations and tying it to mathematical properties that make classical approaches invalid. This was a talk likely suited for minds more seasoned than mine and another student in later conversation joked that the only person that could truly judge the merits of it was probably our resident Nobel laureate, Sir Tony Leggett, who did actually ask a few questions. It is humbling and exciting to be around when such great minds are debating the fundamentals of our field.
Another was about testing the standard model of particle physics in ultracold atomic experiments small enough for a university laboratory but as powerful as giant accelerators. I am very much an evangelist for ultracold atoms and AMO (atomic, molecular and optical) physics research so I was really excited to learn that the precise atomic engineering and experimental control that are hallmarks of this type of experiments can be put to use even when it comes to searching for supersymmetry or checking the predictions of quantum electrodynamics.
On the research front I have been bumped-up to being first author on an upcoming paper from my group, dealing with quasi-one-dimensional topological insulators and disorder, so a part of my week has been spent on polishing up the draft we had already and trying to fill in some of the details we seem to have overlooked. I have also been talking to an AMO experimentalist about something of a pet project involving an ultracold version of a classical chaotic system. Hopefully once I stop being haunted by topological dimmer chain ladders I can look into this more carefully.
WATCHING: Last Sunday I finally caught the local art theater's showing of Tarkovsky’s Stalker* that I had missed the previous week and even though I was somewhat hesitant to commit almost three hours of my weekend to what looked like a distinctly Soviet movie I was ultimately really wowed by the film. In a lot of ways this is a movie that should not really work, down to the fact that the only podcast review of it I could find was given by an orthodox Christian commentator that spend the first ten minutes of the show discussing how silly atheism is rather than focusing on the movie. At the same time, Stalker is in a lot of way the type of work that invites thinking about faith and similarly abstract concerns. While there is a plot, it is closer to a philosophical thought experiment than a science fiction narrative and the main characters are rather explicitly reduced to archetypes, cyphers more than heroes. Throughout the three hours the viewer never learns any names or similar personal details and the dialogue largely serves as a guided meditation on topics concerning desire, hope and wish fulfillment set against the backdrop of a yellowing industrial wasteland or a bluish green one consumed by nature.** Tarkovsky’s shots are long and the camera not only moves slowly but is also often clearly positioned far from the protagonists, and geometric lines and rigid structures abound. It is a truly immersive experience and one that goes by rather quickly as the abstract conversation and the deliberate camera work come together to create something that is better taken in than thought about. While the themes being discussed are rather interesting (and the dialogue manages to not delve into overly sophomoric philosophy clichés) I only really found myself thinking about them a few days later after I caught up with a colleague that had also seen the film and I remain more taken with it as a piece of art in itself rather than something conveying a message. I really hope there will be a similar showing of Tarkovsky’s other classic, Solaris, since I can feel myself becoming a fan.
* The whole thing is on YouTube so if you have three hours to spare I would definitely encourage you to check it out.
** There is something almost soothing about the abandoned industrial landscapes in this movie that reminded me of Cult of Luna’s Vertikal, one of my favorite post-metal albums.
LISTENING: Over the weekend I heard an episode of Supercontext on Johnny Cash’s “American” series of records and got absolutely obsessed with The Man Comes Around. I suspect that I am not the intended demographic for this album but something about it is borderline addictive and the way Cash’s cracked voice and somber tone transform a number of cheesy pop classics into something closer to off-color ritual rites than radio tunes is really fascinating. I have had it on repeat most of the week.
Among some of the other Supercontext episodes I finally got around too, the discussion of Frozen was definitely one of the more interesting and I was rather surprised to learn how long it took for the story used in the movie to take its final shape and how much of a factor in that was a very gendered view of whether the Ice Queen can be marketed. I also really appreciated the hosts being able to discuss both the somewhat subversive elements of the film and the fact that all of that subversiveness was calculated and aimed at attracting particular audiences. In keeping with the movie theme (and I guess I was really into movies this week), I heard an interesting break down of how exploitation films work on the How Stuff Works’ classic podcast Stuff You Should Know and was reminded of a particularly great Imaginary Worlds episode on the logic used by evil masterminds in contemporary films. The two are in a way almost complementary – some movies offer pure violence with little justification and others present unnecessarily convoluted plans that don’t actually make any sense. And as viewers we still lap all of that up.
Finally, I found this episode of Lost In the Stacks on citizen archiving surprisingly relevant and worth ruminating on. In a lot of ways social media is allowing us to archive and document everything and anything, and to do so selectively, which seems to be transforming our idea what it means to be keeping records. As is discussed in the episode, this is particularly relevant when it comes to private individuals archiving and documenting counter-cultural and revolutionary movements from the inside. (And there is so much talk about 'resistance' in today's media.)
EATING: It’s squash season at the farmer’s market (my one indulgence is getting somewhat pricey vegetables from local farmers) so I spent most of this past week eating squash of some sort at least once a day. To pull this off, I made a big batch (roughly five meals worth) of the butternut squash and chickpea curry I am sharing below. This curry is really a lighter and simplified version of this Pinch of Yum recipe but if you have curry paste and are craving something more indulgent and creamy definitely make the original recipe. As a bonus to being great for leftovers this also comes together in 30 minutes or so.
You will need:
6 cloves garlic, finely minced
2 tablespoons minced ginger
2 teaspoons olive oil
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon turmeric
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 butternut squash, cubed (mine was about 5 cups worth)
1 15 oz can of light coconut milk
2 tablespoons (natural) peanut butter (preferably creamy)
½ tablespoon coconut nectar (or honey or brown sugar)
1 15 oz cans of diced tomatoes
2 cups of cooked chickpeas (drain and rinse* if using canned)
Cooked rice or quinoa**, cilantro and lime wedges for serving
Heat the olive oil in a large pot or a deep skillet then add garlic and ginger and sauté until soft and fragrant, making sure the garlic does not burn.
Season the cut-up squash with the curry powder, turmeric, cayenne pepper and chili powder in a small bowl, until well coated.
Add coconut milk to the ginger and the garlic, then whisk in peanut butter and your sweetener of choice.
Add the seasoned squash, the chickpeas and the tomatoes. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes, until the squash is fork-tender but not falling apart.
Turn the heat off and let sit for 10 minutes before serving, allowing the sauce to thicken.
Tips: Pretty much any winter squash would work here, like acorn or kabocha, and you could also add some broccoli or cauliflower florets for a better vegetable variety. If you are opposed to squash all together, two or three sweet potatoes would probably also do the trick. Similarly, you could swap the chickpeas for sweet peas – both are pretty good sources of plant protein and not too strong in taste. Another way to add greens to this meal would be to stir in a few cups of spinach in the last ten minutes, just so it wilts. This is something I do once I start getting sick of same old leftovers and it really adds some more character.
The ratio of spices here can probably be adjusted to taste. Since I was not using curry paste like in the original recipe I scaled down the amount of peanut butter but I think a nice take on this would be to add a bit more of it, together with some sambal oelek or sriracha and go for a more sweet-and-spicy flavor profile (I imagine this would work particularly well with sweet potatoes substituted for some of the squash). Similarly, you could simply add more curry powder and turmeric to accentuate the earthy notes.
* Rinsing the chickpeas makes them easier to digest and therefore makes you less bloated and similarly gross-feeling.
** If you don’t want to eat grains, about a third of this batch would be a reasonably sized meal.